Black beetles, whore and bad plums

Black beetles, whore and bad plums ---- a bad day for me

A funny diary from an English student studying in Beijing

When I first came to China, I knew very few friends, the first two friends I made were not satisfying. One day, my roommate got hurt, so he went to the Haidian Hospital which takes one-hour bus to arrive. I went to have classes, but I have just started to learn pinyin, other students have already known many Chinese characters, I can’t catch up with them, because I was always fooling around all day long then.

Black beetles, whore and bad plums--a bad day for me

A funny diary from an English student studying in Beijing

At that night, I went to my fitness gym, just as I arrived, I found my purse was left home, what’s worse, I kept the keys in it. How to do? My roommate was in the hospital, and it was nearly in the dead of night. I checked the time, 10 o’clock. There would be no bus to get back, and it was not permitted to disturb patients either. I had to ask the only one friend I could turn to. After knowing what had happened to me, he invited me to his home directly. Terrific! On the way to his house, he asked me “are you terrified with blackbeetles?” “No.” I said. ( bugs, no scares , no scares, 看见蟑螂我不怕不怕了)， but I had had no idea how many there would be in his house yet. When we got home, holy crap, it was a heaven of bugs!!!! I asked: will they get up to the bed? He answered with no-big-deal tone: “no, not many.” Jesus, please help me, I am going to cry! Where was I? He has only one bed, and I had to sleep on the floor with my ever most horrible company bugs. How could I fall asleep? Besides, he warned me not to talk with his roommate if she came back, because she was a whore. I was totally stunned. What kind of friend I had made! However, I was exhausted then, so I fell asleep soon, but I often woke up. The moment the bugs came into my mind, my hair would stand on end.

Morning had been waited so long. I decided to take a bath—it was a restless night, and made me feel dirty, too. But, what could be worse? There was no water, they forgot to pay the water rates. How unbearable! I felt sick, I hate it! (I am a good boy, I should not curse, hate is the only word to express my anger)

After separation with my friend, I went back to school. On the way, I saw an old lady selling fruits, seems like plums, so I bought some, I ate them as well as moving on. Before long I had a weird feeling of my stomach, which was stirring and made me want to go to the washroom. But I know little Chinese then, I could do nothing but keep walking towards my destination. Finally, I saw it, it was right there, 200 meters away, but I felt my stomach was on the verge of explosion. It was 7:43 am, so many people on the street, I couldn’t realease myself in public, but those plums, they were coming out, they had no shame. I saw a very short wall, noboby noticed, so I went there stealthily to let me go. Anyway, much better than shit on the pants. What a poor I was!

So, that is my worst day, how about yours? Every dog has his bad day, huh? I’d like to share it with everybody!

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